The things we dont talk about

People can not be happy all of the time. Its impossible, but what about the people that almost never feel happy at all? What happens to the people that feel that happiness itself is impossible because their life is devoid of it, full of sadness, pain, betrayal, and even loneliness? These people struggle to make it threw each day. Struggle to find a reason to get out of bed each morning, but what about the ones that cant. What of the ones that feel alone. They stand in a crowd of friends but feel nothing. They are with the ones they love, but no matter how hard they try they just cant feel happy. What about those ones?

I’m not talking about those ‘emo’ kids that do things just for attention, cut themselves cause their girlfriend/boyfriend left them or because its ‘cool’. The ones that wear eyeliner and call it a lifestyle. I am talking about the lost ones, broken and empty on the inside. Because unlike that ‘emo’ kid in your school. These people you wouldn’t expect I’m talking about the normal ones. The every day smile and laughter people you talk to every day. They have relatively normal lives. Some are smart, popular, funny. For those people, Depression is a word that they understand very well.

You think; knife to the wrist or gun to the head. An easy fix. Because honestly what is the point of fighting to live every day when you cant feel anything. You have friends, family, maybe even a lover. Half the time they don’t even see it, Your pain. When they do ketch a gleams you just smile and they believe you are ok. And every time you fake that smile you die a little inside. The only reason you fake being happy is ether you hope that one day you will actually feel that  happiness and finally fill that void that is eating you alive or that you don’t want anyone to worry about you.

It’s not like you don’t always feel nothing. You sometimes feel hopelessness, sadness, loneliness, and even helplessness. You don’t talk about it much. You fear if you do someone going to accuse you of being ‘emo’ when you are not. Because what you have is not a faze that will go away when you grow up. What you have is a serious problem.

People say, ‘‘You have so much to live for so why are you depressed?  Just get over it’ yes even if we do have something to live for like a family and whatever. And like it’s something you have any control over. We’re asked why we’re not as we used to be..like it’s somehow our fault.
The truth is you cant control what you feel and what you do not feel. I’m not saying any of this to promote suicide or anything like that. But its meant to give you some insight on how it REALLY feels to have depression.   

It makes you dwell on your past, when it’s the last thing you want to do. Sometimes you feel like there isn’t any hope anymore, like you just can’t go on. Then people tell you everything is going to be alright...Inside you want to scream at them because you think that nothings going to change and that it wont be alright because most of the time we don’t want to accept who we’ve become. We become bitter as our friends start to slip away on us. We close ourselves off from the world.

But take it from me. Try to take it one day at a time because there will be lots of days. Good days, bad days and then the days you want to just die. But just remember to breath, you will be ok. Just take one day at a time that’s all you can do. And if you do that you’ll make it somehow.


You are not alone in this. I swear to you.






So here’s some facts for you:

• Depression affects a lot of people, every race, every age, and every sex.
• 1 in 10 people suffer depression to a certain degree.
• Your appetite and weight changes often
• sleeping changes either insomnia or oversleeping
• Self-loathing such as strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Concentration problems-trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things
• you cry for no apparent reason sometimes
• loss of interest in sex
• Self harming yourself in attempt to release your pain
• Drinking just to forget...
• Of course there are the suicidal thoughts..



And this section is dedicated to the Cutters. The people that release their pain threw self-harm. The Myths about it and the facts.

Sometimes, people are so good at hiding it because their friends don’t seem to notice., but you would. Wouldn’t you? Sometimes you don’t know who is doing it. Your best friend could be having a good time with you and then go home and hurt themself...


‘Self injury is a way to cope, so unless you have lived my life hush, because the scars on the inside run a lot deeper then the ones on the out’


• Myth #1 about cutters is that only teenagers cut/self-injure themselves and only those who are ‘emo’ participate.

WRONG

by today, it’s shown that cutters are between the ages of 10 to 30 years old.

• Myth #2 self injury is a failed suicide attempt

FALSE

Self-injury is often a way to continue living and cope with whatever is going on in their life without having to attempt suicide.

• Myth #3 self-injury is ‘attention seeking behavior.

NO (To an exstent)

Though I have met a few people who do, do it for attention. It is primarily it’s a cry for help if anything, but not a cry for attention

• Myth #4 people who self-harm are crazy and should be locked away.

NEVER

Self-injury is a result of overpowering emotions and loss of control. Commiting somebody who feels this way could make it worse.


Though I have never been a cutter, cutting does go hand in hand with depression so I thought it should be mentioned.